i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
