I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize