Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
