Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
