Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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