Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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