ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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