your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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