Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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