i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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