i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
