She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
another moral hangover. fuck.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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