why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
