walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
