Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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