big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
