He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
