I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
