I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
