omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize