he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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