you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I am mentally ready for anal.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
