Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize