once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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