so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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