He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
