how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
