I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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