it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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