He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my being single is dangerous.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
