How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize