Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
