Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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