Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
