Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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