"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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