we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
