My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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