Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
