they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Watching her eat just hurts me
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
