I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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