What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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