Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
