I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
