Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
