He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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