can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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