Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize