how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
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