The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
