Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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