She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
