Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
