they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
operation harelip BJ is a go
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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