So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
