I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
