I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
