It's Friday. Sex?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
