yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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