What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
