She's the barista slut.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
