i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
