So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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