at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Non-Jews are for practice
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
